When you’re in recovery, your life tends to be very goal-oriented. You may be taking things one day at a time, but you do expect to see some progress—and when you fail, err, or relapse, it can be devastating.

Indeed, one of the biggest obstacles to recovery is our natural tendency to beat ourselves up. We have one bad day or weak moment in which we drift away from our meal plan, or else let stress get the better of us. Then we kick ourselves for the mistake, which causes our confidence to plummet and anxiety to rise. Cruelly, this can trigger further problems and even lead to relapse.

This is what makes reflection so important. The idea here is that you’re not just dwelling on the mistake you made this morning, but looking back over the course of your recovery and seeing how far you’ve come.

If you’re committed to recovery—if you’re going to counseling, meeting with a dietician, etc.—then your trajectory is sure to be a positive one. Today may not be going as well as yesterday, and this week may be a step back from the last one, but you’re probably moving forward overall—making progress from where you were, say, a year ago.

So stop today and ask yourself: How much progress have you made since last year? What goals have you met since you started recovery? What are some of the biggest hardships you’ve overcome? And where do you want to go next?

Take some time away from beating yourself up to really congratulate yourself, and to assess where your recovery journey needs to head next.

This reflection can be a great confidence booster, confirming that you’re making progress—and that the road you’ve been down has been worth it.

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