Living and thinking a polarized black-and-white life increases stress, which in turn has a detrimental effect on our mental and physical health. So why are we so hard on ourselves, demanding all or nothing, when mentally living a little more in the middle is a healthier, happier space? No one is perfect all of the time or succeeds 100% of each day. We all make mistakes, we disappoint ourselves and others. Black and white thinking often works against recovery, so this week, celebrate the gray!
Being human means living in the gray, that muddled middle where life generally is at its best and happiest, and where we allow ourselves to relax and be more accepting. The good news: thinking in the gray can be practiced and improved.
Examples of Black and White Thinking
Black and white thinking has a formal term: dichotomous thinking. This means being able to only see the extremes of situations, and not the gray or more complex parts. Good/bad, all/nothing. Wellness and recovery can be found in the forward slash between the antonyms.
Do these sound familiar:
I’ll never be able to do this.
My life is a complete disaster.
I can’t count on anyone, ever.
I’ll never get better.
I’m a terrible person.
The Gray Recovery
Clinical studies show that people struggling with depression frequently think in a black-and-white way. One practical and effective recovery tool is to sit down and create statements, even mantras, that counteract black-and-white thoughts that come to mind. Consider these grayer versions of the black and white ones listed above:
I can do this if I keep trying.
Yesterday was a disaster, but tomorrow will be better.
I have people who care about my recovery.
I will get better, even if it takes time.
I am not perfect, but I am a good person.
Developing gray thinking provides both hope and a mental lift, both important in recovery. Practice living in the gray and on the forward slash this week. Consciously turn any black-and-white thoughts or speech into grayer versions, and see how you ultimately feel. Over time, living more in the gray will become a natural habit.
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